Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
