I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
