hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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