just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
