Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
