PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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