Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
