I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MIDGETS
????
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
