Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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