I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just invented taco cereal.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
