nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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