Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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