I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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