So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
