Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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