I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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