My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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