Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
