i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
