Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
