Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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