Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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