im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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