i barfeds in our rink
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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