I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
