whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize