she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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