he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
