I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize