Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
