morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My vagina is officially offended.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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