**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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