If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize