I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
