Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
