I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have aggressive nipples.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
