I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize