Tell her she can't have a vagina
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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