So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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