I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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