Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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