you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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