it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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