marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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