I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
