Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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