So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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