I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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