He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
