Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
