At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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