the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
