Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
