This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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