Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
A+ Viking dick
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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