chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
