Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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