the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
