Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
