note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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