can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize