I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
