I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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