You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
