im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How does one acquire holy water?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize