and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
