God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
